Ask Tobi
by LoneCard
Summary: Yes, the 'Good boy' is here to ask your questions! Anything you wanna know. ANYTHING! Rated T because I said so.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello, all! I've looked at all the different "Ask So and so" And noticed there is no Ask Tobi. So, if you didn't figure it out by the title, this is ask Tobi! Come on, you know you want to!**

**And, I'm taking time out of my life to do this when I should be updating other stuff, (See **artsfan**) so If none of my stuff is updated in a week, well, I've lived a good life.**

**Anyway, ask Tobi!**


	2. Lollypops and Math

One day, a very nice girl by the name of Mimi "Cookie-Chan" Minamoto went to Akatsuki hide out, following an internet mail-order receipt from Home Depot. She knocked on the door.

"Yes?" Tobi asked upon opening the door.

Without much warning, Tobi was immediately kidnapped and brought to a top-secret location, where he was forced to answer questions.

* * *

**Okay, this is from Ryuchael.**

**1. Is Deidara a boy or a girl?  
2. What is the weirdest thing the akatsuki has ever done?  
3. Does your hat taste like a lollypop?  
4. is kisame a shark?  
5. who is your favorite kunoichi?  
6. if you are such a good boy like you said, why are you in the akatsuki?**

Tobi: Deidara-senpai is a boy! That's a mean thing to ask some one! Tobi was once told to put sushi in Kisame's sandwich. –Licks mask-. Tobi thinks it tastes like plastic. Tobi doesn't know what Kisame is, exactly.

Tobi likes Ino because she looks like Deidara-senpai!

Tobi IS a good boy! He just want to prove it to Deidara!

**This next one is From: Gaarazlilmiss**

**TOBI!!**

**You are so cool...so here is my question...why do you put up with  
Deidara/Zetsu's bashing? And do you REALLY speak in third person, or is that  
some sort of fan made thing??**

Tobi: Tobi doesn't mind Deidara, but Zetsu is just mean! He makes fun of Tobi a lot! And he steals Tobi's money too! Tobi speaks in third person, because Tobi thinks it makes Tobi look smart!

**Next one's From: Kina Lupi**

**tobi... why is it u where a mask? seems kinda.. well.. odd**

Tobi: Tobi wears a mask because Tobi was asked to when he joined the Akatsuki. Tobi follows the Akatsuki's orders. Tobi's a good boy!

**This is From: keinve and sein**

**if 95 cats, 175 dogs, 3 penguins, and 69 mice got on at bus stop A, how many  
tails does the bus driver have?**

Tobi: Tobi's not good at math.

Cookie-Chan: Why are you asking him math questions? Dummy!

Tobi: Don't be mean! What if they need help with their homework?

Cookie-Chan: Why would they ask you? Heck, why would they be asking on FANFICTION!

Tobi:…THE BUS DRIVER HAS NO TAILS! IT"S A TRICK QUESTION!

Cookie-Chan: ugh.

**This one is From: artsfan **

**Dear Tobi, Why is is SO FREAKIN' HARD TO CONVICE THE PEOPLE ON THIS SITE TO  
REVIEW?**

WHY??

WHY? 

Tobi: Tobi's a little upset that no one wants to know about him….Tobi's a good boy, right? Tobi would review.

**It's okay Tobi. Come on, you know you have more questions! Make Tobi feel loved!**


	3. Babies and Dreams

Tobi was still tied to a chair, under the watchful eye of Cookie-chan. He was not going anywhere until these questions were answered.

"But, what did Tobi do?"

"Shut it, Tobi. These good people have questions. They want answers."

* * *

**Okay, this one's fro****m ****peniguin911 ****tobi why do have the mask on your face**

Tobi believes he answered this last chapter. Tobi wears it 'cuz he was told to when he joined the Akatsuki! Tobi always follows the rules!

**Next up is TheLovelyNatalieRose****Dear Tobi,****Where do babies come from?**

Tobi doesn't know. Tobi was adopted. Maybe Deidara-senpai knows! Deidara-senpai!

Deidara: What?!

Tobi: Where do babies come from?

Deidara: I don't have time for this-un. Ask itachi or something.

Tobi: Sorry, Tobi doesn't know.

**Now, here's one of my personal friends, spider wench**

**Hi**** garra's sweetheart! I would like to ask tobi, ****what**** is itachi and kisame's real relationship? are****you madara uchiha or obito uchiha? if you are madara, did you know that one of****your ****descendants**** gave his eye to a guy who is now screwing irkua umino? if you****are obito, are you upset that kakashi has come out of ****grieving**** to screw iruka?****do you like cookies? is it true that you're ****secretary**** with zetsu? is deidara****a man or ****a woman****? why are you such an awesome good boy? can you convince****itachi to run for president (even he'd be better then the idiot we've got now****and if enough fangirls can vote, the things in the bag)? will you run for****president****I've**** got more but, ****I'll**** save them for the next chapter.**

Tobi: Itachi and Kisame are only friends, Tobi thinks. Tobi is Tobi! Deidara's a boy!

Deidara: Hey-un! I've been reading the questions! Why does every one think I'm a girl-un?! I'm a boy! And a goddamn smexy one, too-un!

Tobi: Tobi agrees! Deidara's a boy! Tobi is happy to be a good boy! Tobi could try to ask Itachi later. Tobi thinks he might be too mean to be president.

Cookie-chan: You gotta admit, he'd be better that George Bush.

Deidara: Wow-un. If you think Itachi'd make a better president that the Bush guy, he's an idiot-un.

Cookie-chan: He is. And is hates art.

**Again, spider wench**

**i love you tobi! does itachu know about sasuke and naruto? does he care?**

Tobi: Tobi thinks Itachi doesn't care about his brother's love life. Sasuke is mean! Tobi doesn't like him! Not one bit!

**Now, a super long one from suberXxXduperXxXfun machine **

**1.WHO DOES THE WASHING IN AKATSUKI?**

**2.is it true that you have orgys**

**3****.did oruchimaru get kicked out because he was trying to rape itachi?**

**4.what shampoo do u use?**

**5. can i have ur shoe**

**6. is it true that zetsu molests u every night**

**7. what is the meaning of life**

**8. do u suck or crunch moltesers?**

**9.does the akatsuki cloaks make peoples butts look big**

**10. have you ever tried to eat kisame**

**11.have you ever felt the urge to pole dance for the leader****1**

**2. do u give a-- about these questions**

**well bubye now from subaXdubaXfun machine**

Tobi: Tobi does the washing in the Akatsuki. Sometimes Tobi takes things to sell on eBay to fangirls. Tobi feels bad for that. No, we don't have Orgys!! What's an orgy? Tobi uses Dove shampoo. Tobi needs his shoe. Zetsu's straight. Tobi doesn't know the meaning of life. Tobi is confused by # 8 and 9. Tobi is a little scared that you're asking these questions.

**Ryuchael **

**Im back.**

**1. What would you do if deidara was a girl?**

**2. If your mask really taste like plastic, explain this -shows picture of ****Itachi licking tobi's mask while tobi is wearing it-**

**3. I had a weird dream that tobi has the sharingan eye, and cackling in a****thunderstorm saying that he has madara's powers, and also the mist vilage wha****on fire, and being terrorized by shinobi zombie lolipops, while itachi and****deidara were your chearleaders, Hidan was your personal butler monkey and****Konan was your pet, can you expain this obi- I mean tobi?**

Tobi: Tobi would lose all respect for Deidara if he was a girl. Girls are icky! Itachi had a plastic fetish. He makes Deidara wear bondage on his birthday. –Hold up picture-. See?

Deidara: What! Gimme that-un! –Rips picture-. AND I WANT THE NEGATIVES TOO-UN!

Tobi: Wah! Tobi think's you have weird dreams. Sasuke knows a therapist, Tobi thinks.

**Another personal friend, ****artsfan **

**I'm sorry Tobi, I DO love you, I just love reviews more...And now the****questions: **

**1) Out of all the names in this and other worlds, why pick the name Tobi?****Wouldn't a better good-boy name be Will Turner? I mean, he's one of the****biggest good boy's that there is.**

**2) Do you have schitzophrenia, and/ or multiple personalities?**

**3) If you could date any girl (or boy) who would you choose and why?**

**4) Will you please convince the good people on fanfiction to review the story****called "Resistance isn't futile"?**

**5) If you don't like math, do you like history?**

**6) Why does your mask look like a lollipop on steriods?**

Tobi: Tobi always had the name Tobi. He likes it a lot. Who's will Turner? Tobi doesn't like big words. Tobi would date Deidara-senpai! Tobi will-

Cookie-chan: artsfan! Quit trying to advertise our co-fiction on 'Ask Tobi"!

Artsfan: I thought it could work!

Cookie-chan: Ugh! Anyway…

Tobi: Tobi doesn't like history. He's not very good at school. Tobi likes his mask!

**Now, ****from ****Tobi's biggest fan**

**I need advice, ok there is this boy that I really like how do I get his****attention? Plz answer**

Tobi: Tobi believes that if you just say hi, then a compliment, then walk away, he will notice you. Tobi always does that with deidara!

* * *

**Okay, that's it for now! Keep those questions comin'!**


	4. Spanish and icky pink

Cookie-chan and Deidara were leafing through the e-mails they had gotten. Deidara was annoyed at how many people were asking if he was a boy or a girl. He thought it was vey obvious. 

Cookie-chan was tired. She did feel bad for keeping Tobi tied up in the next room, but questions had to be answered. Deidara sure as hell wasn't gonna answer them. It had to be done.

* * *

**Okay, another from artsfan.**

**You never know Cookie-Chan, people might see the story title and go "Oh, I ****think I'll read that fic." ...DON'T GIVE ME THAT LOOK! IT"S A GOOD IDEA, IT MIGHT****WORK!**

**-ahem- sorry Tobi. Here are the questions:**

**1) If you could speak any language fluently, which would you pick, and why?**

**2) Would you rather ride a gold, bronze, brown, blue, green, or whitedragon?**

**3) Why are you afraid of waffles?**

**4) Which is tastier, fired ice cream, or baked alaska?**

**5) Who is worse, Anne Coulter, George W Bush, Condeleeza Rice, karl Rove,Alberto Gonzales, or Dick Cheney?**

**6) WHY DO YOU THINK GIRLS ARE ICKY?! WE ARE BETTER THEN BOYS!**

Tobi would like to speak Spanish. What's a dragon? Tobi would like blue, though. Waffles are scary! Tobi likes baked Alaska. Tobi doesn't know any of these people.

Cookie-chan: George bush!

Tobi: It's Tobi's turn! Girls are icky 'cuz they like pink!! Pink is icky!

**Next up is ****Lexxy- hime **

**Hiya Tobi,****i think u are so cool so now for the Questions..**

**1.Will u be my friend?**

**2.What do ataksuki mainly eat?**

**3. Could u tie-die Itachi's clothes pink PLEASE, PWETTY PLEASE WITH CHERRIES****ON TOP?!**

**4. if u did question**** 4 please show me the picture!**

**ok i ran out of questions...****BYE BYE MY FRIEND TOBI!**

Tobi: Tobi would love to be your friend! We mostly eat-

Deidara- Shut it-un! If they know what we eat, they'll poison us! I don't wanna die yet-un!

Tobi: Sorry, Senpai. Tobi won't tie-dye Itachi's clothes! Tobi's a goody boy, he won't be mean like Kisame! He's a meanie!

**-Sweatdrops- right. Next up is Tenten rules**

**hi, its me again:D! Poor tobi Hidan is so mean to you. Don't worry i'm one of****your fangirls ! **

**1) Do u want 2 be my friend.**

**2****) If you had to choose who is the best Itachi or Kisame?**

**3) Out of these two kunoich who do you think is bes? Tenten or Hinata?**

**4)Are u happy**** that ur Deidara's parnter now?**

**GO TOBI UR A GOOD BOY!! BUY UR SELF A DS CUZ UR A GOOD BOY!**

Tobi: Tobi always likes more friends! Itachi's better than that meanie Kisame! Tenten is better!

Cookie-chan: Dude, she doesn't even have a backstory! Hell, she doesn't even have last name! Hinata is loveable!

Tobi: Right…Tobi thinks you're odd, Cookie-chan…Tobi likes being Deidara's partner!

Deidara: I don't!

Cookie-chan: Come on, you know you care about tobi in your own boomy way.

**Next up is Midnight-sayasha **

**Y****ay, now I can ask Tobi-san some questions that have been plaguing me! **

**Tobi-san, are you really as good as you say you are? or deep down, are you****really evil? **

**would you take a bite out of Kisame-san if you were starved and stranded in****the desert?**

**which of team 7 would you kill if you were ordered to?**

**have you ever seen a chicken fly through the air?**

Tobi: Tobi's a good boy! Tobi's only a little evil! Tobi doesn't like Kisame…Tobi would eat him if he had to. Tobi would kill Sakura, she's a bimbo.

Cookie-chan: Thank you, someone who understands! If Sakura was on HSN (Home shopping network), she'd be the girl in the sweater vest asking "Really? So, it slices _and_ dice?" It's sad.

Tobi: That was mean. Tobi's seen that once. Tobi thought it was funny!

**Right… next up is ****Gaarazlilmiss**

**Hi Tobi. Glad you answered my question, and I do want to know about you cause****you're kinda...well...mysterious. Tell me this!**

**WHY DOES THE LEADER THINK HE'S GOD!??****That was scary to read... **

Tobi: Hello again! Tobi's not sure why Itachi thinks he's God…

Deidara: I'll tell you why-un! It's because he has an inferiority complex! That's why he killed his family! Because he hates stuff that makes him feel stupid-un.

Cookie-chan: Wow. You knew all that?

Deidara: -Holds up psychology degree-. Yep-un. It's pretty obvious.

**Last for now is ****Tenten rules. ****Wait, didn't she show up…never mind.**

**I love Tobi. And yes, he is A GOOD BOY! I want to ask Tobi this**

**1)Why does he like to annyo Deidara**

**2)Why does he waer a mask**

**3)Who is your favorite akuski member (sp)**

**4) Does he likes cats XD**

**5)Does Kisame scare you when he has his sowrd out. A****nd oh here's a comment for Tobi:**** tell Tobi that i suck at math too.**** I hav****e to use a caculater for math**

Tobi: Tobi doesn't annoy Deidara!

Deidara: Yes, you do.

Tobi: Well, Tobi doesn't try. Tobi waers a make because he was told to! Tobi likes Deidara! Tobi doesn't like cats. Tobi is always scared of that meanie! Tobi's happy that someone else doesn't like math, either!

**Again, that's it for now. –flops onto floor- SO MANY QUESTIONS! Spellcheck people! Spellcheck!**


	5. Bubblegum and hampster dance

Tobi looked up at his captors. He was still tied to a chair, and Cookie-Chan was enjoying this torture a little too much. Deidara was drinking Kool-Aid, listening to the whole thing and getting creeped out at Cookie-Chan's closet sadism. And that closet had glass doors. 

"Tobi is thirsty! Can Tobi get a drink?"

"Nope!" Cookie-chan was giggling at the scene. "You got questions to answer!"

"Can't Tobi get a juice pouch at least?"

"NO! Now answer the questions!!"

---------

**Squee! First up is ****keinve and sein **

**tobi... good boys kill themselves.**

Tobi: Tobi thinks that silly. Tobi likes living, thank you very much!

**Kaaaayyy….next up ****is Tenten rules **

**Yay it's me again! Hey Tobi,****like ****I**** said you are so cool. O****h yeah, Deidara,****you DO not look like a girl at all**** you look me like a boy to me. I like art to****o,****but ****I**** l****ike writing stories better and I ****also like to explode things if I**** can,****but not birds! And her****e are some more questions. I**** just want to know you more!**

**1) Do you like pie?**

**2)If you can cho****se who do u think is nicer: Neji**** or Sasuke****( I really hate****Sasuke he should have died sorry)**

**3)Are you always hyper**

**4) If you don't like history or math what do you ****like, Language,**** art, social****studies,****technology****gym, ****health ****or ****science?****5)**

**Why are you scared of Kisame?**

**6) Even though Tenten does****n't have any backround or past, do you**** like her? And ****why? ( I still like Tenten even though she doesn't have a past, ****background**** or ****last name she is my ****favorite**** kunoichi)**

**7) Who do you think is better Kin or Temari**

**8) Do u like when Deidara blows birds or clay up is it too loud?**

**9) If you did went to school do u like it or hate it ( I hate school its ****boring)**

**10) Which animal do you like**

Tobi: Tobi has a lot to think about. Tobi likes pie! Tobi likes Neji, 'cuz he's fun to mess with. Tobi's not hyper, he's just happy! Tobi likes gym! Kisame's a meaine! He stole Deidara-chan's teddy-bear!

Deidara: OKAY, first of all, I am NOT your 'Chan'! AND THAT IS NOT MY BEAR! –snatches back bear-.

Cookie-chan: If it's not your bear, why'd you take it back?

Deidara: Just keep answering the questions, Tobi.

Tobi: Yay! Tobi thinks Tenten's nice, but it's hard to tell when she has no real screentime. Tobi likes Temari because she's kick-ass! Deidara manages to keep it quiet. Itachi doesn't like noise. Tobi went to school when he was little. Tobi liked it because Tobi is a good boy! Tobi likes Kangaroos!

Deidara: OO. Right…that was random-un.

**Next up is Lily Yamamoto **

**YAY TOBI! Tobi is awesome! ****And**** a good boy!****Here are my questions:**

**Has tobi ever been a bad boy?**

**Can you run for president?**

**Cna**** i be your campaign manager. **

**I know these questions suck but w/e!**

Tobi: Tobi likes these questions! Tobi's always a good boy! Tobi thinks Itachi's running for president. Tobi will try too! Tobi would like to have you as a Campainge Manager!

**Now we have Lily Yamamoto …again? Man, I gotta update more often….**

**Tobi, why are you afraid of waffles?**

Tobi: Tobi remembers the moment he became afraid of waffles…it's scary!

Deidara: Great, now's he's gonna have a nightmare! Then he's gunna wanna sleep in my bead again!

Cookie-chan: Again?

**Now, it is Tenten rules… again. I suck at updates….**

**Hey Tobi i know ****I'm ****your ****fan but Not ALL girls like pink. I hate PINK! And ****I ****forgot some questions:**

**1)Please try to convince Itachi-kun to run for ****president**** since ****I'll**** vote for ****him and ****I'm**** his fan girl too**

**2) what song do you like**

**3)W****hat was the funniest thing the Akatsuki's did or what Deidara did (I**** am also****Deidara****'****s fangirl)**

**4)Y do u hate Sasuke ( I hate him too.)**

**5) who do you like better Itachi or Sasuke ( I think Itachi IS way better.****Itachi is much stronger, COOLER, awsomer and smarter)**

**6)Is ur favorite song Dragostea Din Tei**

**7) Why do u like Deidara**

**8) Do u think Kibas puppy Akamaru is cute ( I think Akamaru is cute But ****deidara Don't kill him)**

**9) Why doesn't the akukies have any animals**

**10) Do u think Tenten is cute ( that was lil bros question)**

**11)do you hate Sunday school**

Tobi: Tobi likes 'The hamster Dance'! Tobi likes Itachi and he _is_ cooler, awesomer, and smarter. Tobi likes Deidara because- -Blushes-. Tobi will go to the next question. Tobi likes Akamaru! He's adorable!

Cookie-chan: I know! He's the cutest widdle ting!

Deidara: I'm going to where the sane people are…

Tobi: We don't need animals. Tenten's pretty! Tobi doesn't know what Sunday school is….

**YAY ****FAMILIAR ****FACE!**** My friend,**** artsfan **

**Ok you masochistic character!! Here are my questions!!**

**1) If girls didn't like pink, would they still be icky? Cuz, I don't like****pink AT ALL, and I'm NOT icky.**

**2) Because you chose the blue dragon, it means that you love boys. In the ****world on Pern, almost all blue dragonriders are gay. (POWER TO THE GAY PEOPLE!****W00T!) How do you feel about that? (Dragon is a lizard with bat wings that's****huge and breathes fire.)**

**3) Would you rather be blind, deaf, or mute, and why?**

**4) If you could get sucked into any alternate universe, what would you want****to be in it and why?**

**5) If you're afraid of waffles, are you afraid of pancakes too?**

**6) Would you rather wear make-up, a dress, or a pink shirt with a pink rose****on it, in pink letters saying, "Kiss me, I'm Tobi"?**

Tobi: Tobi likes girls that don't like pink! Pick is icky! Tobi is proud of who he is! –huggles Deidara plushie-. Tobi would rather be blind, because he is used to not seeing things. Tobi would like to go the world of Drake and Josh, 'cuz Tobi thinks their funny! No, Tobi likes pancakes. Tobi would wear the last one in front of Deidara!

Deidara: How stupid do you think I am-un? I don't follow every shirt I read!

Cookie-chan: artsfan, these questions are supposed to be about Tobi!

**Okay, Gaarazlilmiss, you're up!**

**Tobi! I can't believe you don't like girls because you think they like PINK! ****I don't like pink, and I'm a girl! I actually like black and blue...and lime****green...anyway, here is another question for you.**

**If you were told to wear a mask, did you get to pick it? **

**If you did get to ****pick it, why did you choose that swirly mask instead of some kick mask that****made you look so kick butt? You still are in my book though!**

**And for Deidara since he's here: ****How in the world did you get a Phsycology degree if you're in Akatsuki?**

Tobi: Tobi likes girls that think Pink is Icky, too! No, Tobi didn't get to choose. Tobi doesn't mind though!

Deidara: Dude, I wasn't born into the Akatsuki-un! I actually went to different schools! –whispers- And, between you and me, Itachi has issues he needs to work out.

Itachi: Deidara, you're supposed to keep these things confidential…

Deidara:-gulp- yes-un.

**Last up, ****Ambrey **

**TOBI!!****Are you Obito?**

**You said girls are icky. Are you gay or just immature?**

**Does Deidara use his hands inappropriately?**

**Are you really as dumb as you act sometimes?**

Tobi: Tobi is Tobi! Tobi isn't immature! He is gay, though. –huggles Deidara plushie again-. Deidara does have fun with himself sometimes…Tobi doesn't know what that means, that's what he says.

Deidara: TOBI! YOU! HAVE! TO! KEEP! THESE! THINGS! QUIET! –hits Tobi on the head-

Tobi: Owwiee! Tobi down. Tobi down!!

Deidara: To answers your question, if he always acted this stupid, would he be in the Akatsuki?

**That's it for this chapter. -Sighs-. I NEED SUGAR!**


	6. Uncle Harima and Democrats

Tobi, still tied to a chair, was munching on some cookies. The snacks, along with sugary cereal, frosted muffins, and juice pouches, had been sent by MewxRetasu. Tobi was very happy that someone cared.

Cookie-Chan and Deidara looked at their captive with slight guilt.

Well, they didn't mean to starve Tobi. They had just gotten too obsessed with the question. But, there were a lot of questions to answer! Still, they were thankful to MewxRetasu for sending the care package to Tobi.

* * *

**First up is Tenten rules**  
**I have so many questions!**

**1)if you don't like cats do you like dogs?**

**2) When Deidara does his hobby (blowing things up) did he blow anything or  
destroy something of anybody's?**

**3)I had a dream that all of the Naruto characters were while and Sasuke was  
the cheerleader XD! Can u explian it?**

**4)Do you think Neji and Tenten love each other and belong with each other  
because i do since i hate LeeTen I like TenNeji**

**5)Why are you scared of Kisame?**

**6)Do you know why Deidara has a robot eye i think its so cool?**

**7)Do you like Pein as the leader?**

**8)Did it hurt when Deidara strangles you in the neck?**

**9)Do you like art because i do?**

**10)Who do u thig is nicer Kiba or Shino?**

**Oh, i don't know if i said this before but tell Deidara whoever who thinks  
that he is a girl or who doesn't know if he is a boy are a girl that they are  
crazy because Deidara is a boy it is so easy to tell. i also know how to make  
a lots of stuff with clay. TOBI you are a good boy!!**

Tobi: Tobi thinks you need spell check. Tobi's okay with dogs.

Deidara: Come _on_-un! I like the explosions! Not the destruction!

Tobi: Tobi believes it's his turn. Tobi doesn't interprete dreams but he can try. –Holds up 'The complete idiot's guild to interpreting your dreams'- Tobi thinks you're just having a random dream. Tobi likes NejiTenten.

Cookie-Chan: They look better together, visually.

Tobi: Tobi's not scared of Kisame! Tobi thinks Kisame is a meanie! Deidara has a robot eye? Sweet! Pein is okay. Deidaea doesn't strangle Tobi! Deidara is the art guy!

Deidara: Damn straight! Art is a bang-un!

Tobi: Tobi thinks Kiba is funner!

Deidara: I would just like to say, FINALLY, SOMEONE GETS IT! I'm a boy-un!

**-Pants- so much! Okay, next is ****Tobi's biggest fan.**

**HEY Tobi, I got a wierd look when I followed your advice... on another note..  
Do you have any living family members? How did you first get involved with the  
akatsuki?**

Tobi: Sorry! Tobi only wanted to help! I think my uncle Harima is still around…Tobi-

Deidara: TOBI, WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT KEEPING THING QUITE-UN!

Tobi: Owwie! Tobi has feeling, too!

**Deidara, be nice! Next up is GaaGaa4Narutoguys **

**Democrats can screw off. Go die in a hole you treehugging liberals. Tobi is a  
good boy!**

Tobi: Umm… -tugs on Deidara's sleeve- Deidara, what're they talking about?

Cookie-Chan: I'll tell you what she's sayin'!….yeah, I don't know either. But, you got a compliment, Tobi! –pats Tobi on head-

Tobi: Yay! Tobi's a good boy!

**Now, Kina Lupi **

**(note for the author) DUDE U KEEP MISSING MY QS!wtf**

Tobi: Tobi believes cookie-Chan answered your question in the second chapter.

Cookie-Chan: If I missed any questions, sorry! I'm trying to fit everyone in!

Okay, now, let have NarutoKazama112233 

**Hi Tobi! (hugs) what do you think about Hidan and Kakauze? PS: Naruto Kazama  
is a good boy too! XD**

Tobi: Tobi lkes to hang out with them. NO, TOBI"S A GOOD BOY! ONLY TOBI!

Deidara: See what I have to suffer-un?

**-sweatdrops- this is getting weird…anyway, now, to the sender of that care package Tobi goy. you're up, MewxRetasu **

**Tobii!**

**TOBI TOBI TOBI! HI HI HI/\/\**

**HI HI HI TOBI! Are you hungry there? Are they not giving you any food? Here,  
I sent some cookies. And some cereal. With lots of sugar in it. And juice  
pouches! 'Cause you can squeeze them!**

**And you can eat the ice when you're done. They'll probably either be melty or  
crunchy.**

**Tobi, would you still be a good boy if Deidara-sempai was weraing a frilly  
dress? In case you want to try, I put it in a second package attached to the  
cookies and cereal and juice and ice package. Now that I think about it, the  
ice might melt through... OH WELL.**

**And what are your FAVORITE types of cookies? Oh, I hope you like cookies. And  
muffins 'cause I put a muffin in there too. I put pretty colors of frosting on  
it!**

**Yaay Tobi!**

**Oh, and if a random Konoha girl got sent to Akatsuki, wouldn't you love it to  
be Hinata?**

**I don't know why I just said that.**

Bye Tobi! e-huggle-as-a-friend 

Tobi: Tobi's not hungry anymore! Thank you! Juice pouch! –squeezes pouch-. Sorry Deidara!

Deidara: -covered in juice- Ugh. I give up-un.

Tobi: Tobi might not be a good boy if Deidara wore a frilly dress. Tobi would laugh too hard. Tobi likes cookies! And Muffins! Tobi would like to have Hinata here! She's sweet! Yay! E-huggles!

**Random…I really feel hopeful now! Next is ****Gaarazlilmiss **

**Me again. Deidara I guess you have a point there...I didn't think about that,  
but anyway, TOBI!! I'm sorry you didn't get to pick your mask...So here is my  
next question. What does Akatsuki do for fun, if you guys have any at all? I  
mean, you can't be all serious all the time, right?**

Tobi: It's okay. Tobi got used to the mask. Oh, we play on Playstation3! Itachi always wins…

Deidara: -whispers- because we let him. –normal speech- No, we can't be serious all the time. That's too hard.

**Now, let's have keinve and sein **

**ya know, i bet if you talked to itachi, you could get him to open up. he's  
ever so lonely.**

Deidara: You know, I've been making real progress with him-un. I think he might recover from it soon-un.

Itachi: Deidara…what did I tell you about confidentiality?

Deidara: Now, now, Itachi-san. What will threats do-un?

Itachi: Keep you alive.

Deidara: Shutting up now-un.

Tobi: NO FAIR! TOBI DIDN'T GET A CHANCE TO SAY ANYTHING!

**Now, last for today, Midnight-sayasha **

**whe, me again, just got more questions I guess...**

**tobi do you like the dentist?**

**in any stage of your life, did you want to be an acrobat?**

**if there was no such thing as the colour pink (including ALL pinks)would you still think girls were icky?**

**what is your favorite colour?**

**and one for dei-senpai, did you know you had your own fan listing website with over 200 girls listed? (including me..) and, other than tobi, which akatsuki member would you like to hurt really bad, and why?**

**thankyou! and hang in there tobi! XD**

Tobi: Tobi likes the dentist! Free toothpaste! No, Tobi's not flexible. Pink is Icky. Girls that like Pink are Icky. No pink, no Icky! Tobi likes green.

Deidara: I have a fanclub? I mean, yeah-un! Deidara would like to poke Kisame, because I feel like it-un.

**That's it for now! Bring in those questions! Tobi, don't waste the juice pouches!**


	7. Politics and The Dark Side

Tobi, no longer tied to a chair but rather lying comfortably on a couch, was chewing gum. Another care package had been sent, this time by KRISH-un. This one had had nothing but candy for Tobi. Surprisingly, he hadn't gotten hyper. He was actually very calm.

Meanwhile, Cookie-Chan and Deidara were playing chess. Cookie-Chan was beating Deidara yet again. Moving her Queen forward, she beat Deidara.

"Checkmate." Cookie-Chan declared.

"Can't we play DDR?"

"Alright, but make it a challenge, alright?"

"Hey!" Tobi interrupted. "Tobi plays winner!"

* * *

**Okay, up first is ****keinve and sein **

**Keinve: What, Deidara-san, would you do if Naruto was taught the exploding  
clone jutsu (he already enjoys destruction)? Would you **

**a; team up with him, **

**b;advise him on ways to make a huge explosion, **

**c; throw tobi at him and watch the fireworks, **

**Or d; all of the above?**

**Sien: I am only reviewing as keinve made me. Tobi, go hug Itachi.**

Deidara: D. Definitely D-un.

Tobi: Okay! –Goes to hug Itach-

Itachi: Not on your life.

Tobi: Aw!

**-**_**Sweatdrops**_**- Okay…Next is the sender of the most recent care package, ****KRISH-un **

**Hello Tobi! Don't worry, KRISH-un thinks Tobi is a good boy too!  
**

**first question: WHo would you rather hang around with, Itachi or Hidan?**

**Second question: If your mask could be repainted, what color would you want  
it to be?**

**Third: If you could take off your mask, would you?**

**That's it! oh, and Authoress-sama? KRISH-un is giving Tobi a care package as  
well, but KRISH-un's is filled with lots of candy for the good boy. And  
Deidara-san can have some too, if he wishes. But most of it is for Tobi.**

Tobi: Yay! Tobi's a good boy! Tobi would pick Deidara, silly! Deidara's awesome! Tobi always thought purple would be nice….No, Tobi likes his mask. YAY, CANDY!

Deidara: I swear to Kami-sama, If you get cavaities or ADD, it's not my fault-un.

**Be nice, Deidara! Now, let's hear from a familiar face, ****Gaarazlilmiss**

**I'M SO JEALOUS OF YOU ALL!! A PS 3? I'm still on the ps2, but I love it, and I'm not getting rid of it I'll upgrade eventually, but the ps2 stays...**

**anyway, I guess my next question would be, if you play the PS 3 for fun, what games would you play? I wonder if we've got anything in common, Tobi...TTFN**

Tobi: Tobi likes the PS 2, but the PS 3-

Deidara: Kicks ass-un!

Tobi: What Deidara-senpai said! Tobi plays-

Deidara: Tobi, how many times do I have to tell you not to give up personal information!

Tobi: Sorry, Deidara.

Cookie-Chan: Aw, don't be so hard on the little guy. –_Hands cookie to Tobi_- He's tryin' his best.

**Now, artsfan **

**Sorry for not asking questions Tobi, but my evil teachers have been giving me  
too much hw.**

**1) Tobi have you ever 'squee-ed' before?**

**2) Do you think ahem "president" Bush is a dickhead?**

**3) Why is the sky blue?**

**4) Did you read my and your captors fic, "Resistance isn't futile"? What did  
you think of it? Can you convince other people to read it, please?**

**5) What tastes better for you, vanilla or chocolate?**

**6) What do you look like without your mask?**

**7) Why am I so bloody bored and random?**

**8) Are you getting me a Hannukah present, Tobi? Because good boys buy  
presents for girls on holidays. **

**9) What's your favorite food?**

**10) Do you have a girlfriend?**

Tobi: Tobi understands. Homework is not fun. Tobi hasn't 'Squee-ed'. Tobi hasn't heard of George Bush. Tobi doesn't know why the sky is blue.

Cookie-Chan: FOR THE LAST TIME, artsfan, QUIT TRYING TO ADVERTISE OUR CO-FIC ON 'ASK TOBI'!!!

Tobi: You're a little loud, you know. Anyway, Tobi likes vanilla. Tobi doesn't like to say, 'cuz Tobi looks more mysterious that way. Tobi thinks you just need a hobby. Tobi's not sure what Hannukah is, but Tobi can try.

Deidara: NO, YOU WILL NOT! Tobi, when will you learn-un? You can't be so nice-un!

Tobi: What? Tobi's a good boy! Tobi likes-

Deidara: Do you want to be poisoned-un?!?!

Tobi: Sorry, Sorry! Tobi likes Deidara!

**Damn you, arttsfan….anyway, now it's** **dark soul 1313 **

**you... ARE MY NEW HERO! **

**you dissed bush**

**you rule!**

Cookie-Chan: I thank you. Bush is such an idiot.

Tobi: Tobi likes Cookie-Chan! You're Tobi's new hero, too! –Hugs Cookie-Chan-

**Right, now let's have** **KRISH-un! …wait, didn't I...I really gotta update more often.**

**Hi Tobi, it's KRISH-un again. KRISH-un thought up more questions!**

**1) Why does Deidara wear a 's shirt?**

**2) What kinds of things do you steal from the laundry? **

**3)Can KRISH-un have something of Deidara's? Preferably something that doesn't  
explode?**

**4) Will you hug Deidara for KRISH-un?**

**Thank you Tobi! KRISH-un promises that these are all her questions for now!  
Enjoy the care package!**

Tobi: Tobi thinks that Deidara looks good, no matter what he wears! Tobi steals mostly Itachi's shorts…Tobi's not proud of that.

Deidara: Hell, no-un! I'm keeping my things-un!

Tobi: Tobi don't need tellin' twice! –Hugs Deidara-

Deidara: Come on-un! When will the madness end-un!

Tobi: Tobi thanks you for the care package!

**Right, now's the last person for today, ****Alucard's Vampiress **

**Hey... LOVE the story escept, d'you think you could please remove the  
politcis from it? I'm a very strong Republican myelf, and would prefer that  
stories that actually have a lot of potential not have any political  
references. **

**Anyways, questions for Tobi!**

**1) Do you like baseball or sports of any type?**

**2) What are your hobbies besides following Deidara-senpai around?**

**3) Have you ever made a guitar out of a tissue box, rubber bands, and a paper  
towel tube?**

**4) Do you like cookies? And if someone bribed you with them would you join  
the 'dark side'?**

**5) If you were a girl, what would your name be? (and no, you don't have to  
like pink!)**

**6) Would you steal Deidara-senpai's shirt if you could?**

**7) Deidara-senpai says that you crawl into his bed whenever you have bad  
dreams. Do you have bad dreams often, just for that reason?  
Well, I'm all out of questions. See you next time! Bye Tobi! hugs**

**-AV**

Cookie-Chan: I'm so sorry! I hate placing politics in stories myself, but when people ask, I rally don't have too much of a choice. I'll try to tone it down though.

Tobi: Tobi likes Tennis! Tobi likes to surf the web! Yes, when Tobi was little. Tobi sat on it, Tobi thinks. Tobi likes cookies, but Tobi's a good boy! Tobi would be called Alexa!

Deidara: WHY ME, KAMI-SAMA? Why me-un! See the madness I suffer?

Tobi: Now Tobi feels bad. Umm…

Deidara: Don't tell me you already stole one of my shirts-un!

Tobi: Okay, Tobi won't tell! No, Tobi really does have bad dreams! Their scary, and they have waffles!

**Okay, that's all for today, my peoples! This story will be ten chapters, then my very first OC fic will be out and about, so get all those questions asked now! …God, I sound like a car dealer….**


	8. Daniel and cookies

Tobi was feasting on yet another care package, this one sent by artsfan. He was eating a twizzler pack and lying flat on the couch, coloring in a coloring book, which had been sent by Alucard's Vampiress.

Beside artsfan's care package was the care package sent by Alucard's Vampiress. Beside that care package was one sent by Midnight-sayasha which had dark chocolate cookies and fireworks for Deidara. Tobi was being treated like a celebrity!

Deidara was playing with the exploding duck that was sent with AV's package. At least until Cookie-Chan took it away after the 60475902749383959th explosion.

"Deidara-san, are you trying to get us killed? You could cave in the whole room!"

"She's right," Tobi said lazily, finishing off a life-like side doodle of Deidara. "Tobi thinks your own artwork in much better."

"Tobi, just eat your candy."

"Fine."

"Hey, Deidara, wanna play DDR?"

"Hell, yeah! I'll totally win-un!"

"Yeah, right."

* * *

**Take it away, artsfan!**

**I have questions, and a care package. In the package is a cool jack-in-the-box of Jack the Pumpkin King from Nightmare Before Christmas.**

**There is also an exploding duck, and two twizzlers. She also sends a hug and two vanilla kisses.**

**Now the questions:**

**1) What do you think of Sasuke?**

**2) Do you like to sing?**

**3) Do you think Deidara would look better as a fish?**

**4) Would you want to live in Finland or England?**

**5) What is your favorite type of cookie?**

**6) Why are teachers evil?**

**7) Why must I do dishes today?**

**8) What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?**

Tobi: Sasuke' had a turkey for a hair-do! Tobi likes to sing! Tobi's not sure why, but he sings Emo songs better –Takes deep breath-

_She says she's no good_

_With words, but I'm worse._

_Barely studdered out a-_

Deidara: Tobi! Stop singing-un! And to answer number 3, I don't wanna be a fish!

Tobi: Yeah! Senpai looks better now! Tobi likes British people! Tobi likes chocalate chip cookies! Tobi doesn't know why, or the speed of an unladen-thingy.

**Umm…okay. Anyway, now let's hear from ****Alucard's Vampiress **

**Hi! It's me again! Hi Tobi (huggles)! Have another care package. This one has  
coloring books and crayons in it! Plus, extreme sour warheads, twizzlers, and  
lots of other fun candy goodness. Well, only a couple more questions-**

**1) If you had a counterpart in our world, what would his name be (besides  
Tobi)?**

**2) What's your favorite movie? What about your favorite book?**

**3) Do YOU think that Cookie-chan sounds like a car dealer?**

**4) If Deidara-senpai suddenly made the world explode, and you had to move to  
another planet, what planet would you choose?**

**5) Can I have a hug:)**

**Well, that's all for today. Bye Tobi! (hugs)**

Tobi: Yay, crayons! Tobi would like to have a counterpart named Daniel. Tobi likes 'The Nightmare Before Christmas' and 'Briar Rose' by Jane Yolen.

Cookie-Chan: I love that book! It's so sad when they figure out that Gemma survived the Holocaust!

Tobi: Tobi knows! Tobi cried when she died!

Deidara: If you two are done-un…

Tobi: Right, sorry! No, Tobi thinks Cookie-Chan's just sleepdeprived.

Cookie-Chan: I overslept by 2 and a half hours last night!

Tobi: Tobi likes Mars, because it's red! Of course you can have a hug!

**Right, next up is, ****KRISH-un **

**HI TOBI! It be KRISH-un! KRISH-un has more questions for Tobi!**

**1) Would you wear one of Deidara's shirts?**

**2)... Will you dye Deidara's hair purple for KRISH-un?**

**3) And hug Deidara for KRISH-un?**

**4) What do you think of s?**

**5) s?**

**6) If you could be any animal, what would you be?**

**7) What, besides waffles, are you most afraid of?**

**8) (SORRY THAT THIS IS SO LONG!) Would you be KRISH-un's best friend?**

**That's all of KRISH-un's questions for right now. KRISH-un is sorry that Tobi  
has to be stuck in that room answering KRISH-un's questions. KRISH-un will  
know how you feel tomorrow. KRISH-un will be stuck on a bus for four hours  
tomorrow, in the company of Alucard's Vampiress. KRISH-un wants to hug, will  
Tobi hug KRISH-un?**

Tobi: Tobi likes his own clothes. And Deidara'a a different size. No, Tobi likes Deidara blonde. But Tobi will hug Deidara for you! –hugs Deidara-

Deidara: Ugh…Why me-un?

Tobi: s? What's s? Tobi would be a squirrel.

Deidara: You have the attention span of one-un.

Cookie-Chan: Don't be so mean! Tobi, I think you would make a cute squirrel.

Tobi: Yay! Tobi's scared of big dogs. Yes, Tobi will be your friend. –hugs KRISH-un-

**Aww, people like you, Tobi! Okay, now Midnight-sayasha!**

**Its a me again!**

**1. Tobi, if you believe you will be re-encarnated, would you still be a good  
boy?**

**2. Which is your favourite of the nine tailed beasts?**

**3. Did you ever have a teddybear? what was it called?**

**4. Deidara-senpai, hang in there! yeah, but, if you could steal something  
of one of the akatsuki members things, what ywould you take, and from whom?  
**

**I wanna send a care package too! A box of cookies from the dark side for tobi  
and a box of (cough-illegal-cough)fireworks for deidara-senpai! yay, keep  
yourself hyper to make them questions good!**

Tobi: Tobi's always a good boy! Tobi likes the Nine-tailed fox because it's awesome! Yes, my teddy was called Chi!

Deidara: I would steal Itachi's stuff-un. Do you know how much fangirls would pay for that stuff-un?

Itachi: I swear, you take my stuff, and you will be in so much pain, you will forget your own name.

Deidara: Looks like it's time for another session with Itach-un. –Leaves with Itachi-

Tobi: Okay….Yay, dark cookies!

**Last, but not least is Tobi-Uchiha **

**Um... Tobi?**

**Heh, sorry to bother you but, what's your favorite food? I'd like to send  
some to the Akatsuki lair so you could have some.**

Tobi: Tobi likes cookies, pancakes, candy, and juice pouches!

**Okay, that's it! Itachi, good luck with the therapy! Ja ne!**


	9. Thanksgiving and fragile beauty

Tobi, Deidara, and Cookie-Chan were all seated around a comfortably sized table with a black tablecloth decorated with red clouds. Deidara was playing with sparklers, Tobi was sipping from a juice box and Cookie-Chan was munching on cookies, which had all been sent by _Miss Princess Of Randomness, _along with a good sized chicken in the center of the table.

Cookie-Chan felt especially happy because her friend _artsfan_ had sent her chocolate chocolate chip cookies, a milk shake, Chinese food, and fortune cookies. She was especially thankful for the extra sleep. She truly needed it.

"So," Deidara asked, lazily waving around a sparkler. "What's the whole point of this again-un?"

"Tobi remembers! Thanksgiving is when you say how thankful you are for the stuff you have!"

"Right, " Cookie-Chan said, passing Tobi a cookie. "Thanksgiving is actually next week, but the chicken won't last that long, so we're eating it now. Tobi, what are you thankful for?"

"Tobi likes juice pouches, and Deidara!"

"Deidara, what are you thankful for?"  
"Art and explosions-un. And take-out food-un."

"What about Cookie-Chan? Tobi wants to know what she is thankful for!"

"I'm thankful for my friends, my home, and this big-ass chicken! Now dig in!"

And thus, they ate the chicken.

……

**First is Miss Princess Of Randomness**

**Helo Tobi -hug-**

**I send a care package containing juice boxes and paint for Tobi, Sparklers  
for Deidara, Cookies for cookie-chan and a chicken for everyone!**

**1) Tobi do you pefer pirates or vampires**

**2) If you could describe Deidara in two letters what would they be? and why?**

**3) Would you and Deidara wear purple sparkly top hats?**

**bye bye for now :) -hugs-**

Tobi: Tobi likes Pirates! –sings- _It's Pirate's life for me_! Tobi would say Deidara is Loud and Awesome.

Deidara: What is it with you people and making me wearing weird stuff-un!

Cookie-Chan: Hey, they have a right to ask. It's not like I'm making you wear this stuff...yet.

**Next is a****rtsfan**

**I want to send Cookie-Chan a care package because she must be feeling very  
overworked. In the package I send homemade chocolate chocolate chip cookies, a  
cookies and cream milkshake, chinese food, three fortune cookies, and I send a  
big huggle and three extra hours of sleep. :-) She can share with Tobi if she  
wants. **

**And now the questions:**

**1) Do you like the Beatles?**

**2) Which is scarier, blueberry or raspberry waffles?**

**3) How tall are you?**

**4) Do you like Deidara?**

**5) Do you like tea or coffee better?**

**6) What do you do when you get on a sugar high?**

**7) Is Wantanabe a sushi restaurant?**

**8) Do cats make you sneeze?**

**9) Will you give Cookie-Chan another huggle for me, please?**

**10) Would you want to be reincarnated as a butterfly or as a fish?**

**That's it...for now!**

Cookie-Chan: Thank you! I needed that rest.

Tobi: But, you were supposed to share! Beetles? Bugs are cool! Raspberry is scarier, cuz it has pink! Tobi never got measured.

Deidara: Yes, he does like me like that-un.

Tobi: -nods- Uh-huh! Tobi likes tea. He never gets on a sugar rush.

Cookie-Chan: Watanabe is not sushi! It IS a Japanese name!

Tobi: Tobi likes cats! Yes, Tobi will hug Cookie-Chan –hugs Cookie-Chan-

**Aww, Tobi! You're so adorable! Anyway, now let's hear from KRISH-un!**

**HI, TOBI! It's KRISH-un! Thank you for being KRISH-un's friend!**

**Oh, and the s's were hair colors. s number one was hair like Deidara's and s**

**number to was hair like fire. (Nods) it didn't let KRISH-un put in the words, but KRISH-un only figured that out after KRISH-un reviewed.**

**1)What do you think of People with yellow hair?**

**2)Fire-colored hair?**

**3)Do you like cheese?**

**4)Who do you the most, and why?**

**5)Do you like to read manga?**

**6)Can you climb trees? 'Cos KRISH-un can't.**

**7)Do you like penguins? (KRISH-un has a stuffed animal penguin who is a  
pervert. His name is Pen. KRISH-un loves him.)**

**8)Will you (and Authoress-sama too!) help KRISh-un annoy Alucard's Vampiress  
someday?**

**9)Which style of art is better (Deidara-san, KRISH-un already knows your view  
on this.): Art that only lasts for an instant, or everlasting art?**

That's all of KRISH-un's questions for now! Thanks Tobi! KRISH-un loves you!  
(e-Huggles)

Tobi: It's okay! Tobi likes having friends! Yellow hair is pretty, Fire hair is kinda scary. Tobi likes cheese and manga! No, Tobi can't climb trees. Tobi likes animals!

Cookie-Chan: One day, the day will come where I annoy people. I would love to help.

Tobi: Tobi likes art that lasts for only a moment. He believes that it's very symbolic of life. It shows how life is so fragile, and how it can disappear in an instant. It symbolizes the delicate nature of a flower or a child, and their beauty. That is why Tobi likes art that lasts only for a moment.

Cookie-Chan: Wow, Tobi. That was so beautiful.

Deidara: Gotta admit, that was awesome. Didn't think you had it in you-un.

Tobi: Yay! Tobi's a good boy!

Cookie-Chan: Like a flower to a blade, the moment is gone. Killed so ruthlessly.

Tobi: Tobi is sorry! Tobi's a good boy!

**Right, anyway, next up is ****Sakaki1216 **

**Dear Tobi-kins,**

**I am your stalke- . . uh, I mean biggest fan. So I bring you questions and  
gifts! Questions first, presents later.**

**1. Have you been a good boy? Remember, Santa is wathing you when you sleep. **

**2. Can you kick Deidara in the butt? he's being way to mean to you. . . you  
dont deserve that.**

**3. Who are you? Madara or Obito? And if you dont tell me, I will come into  
your room and slap you so hard, you would be red for your life!**

**And now for gifts, I give you . . . .a rubber duck! What's so cool about it  
is that it vibrates!**

Tobi: Tobi is a good boy always! No, Tobi likes Deidara! Tobi is Tobi! Yay, rubber ducky!

**Right…Next up:** -**ShikaIno-Lover-4Ever-**

**Hi hi I have a few questions 3**

**1) Do you like any girls?**

**2) Why do you like Deidara-chan when he beats you up?**

**3) Do you like Blood coverd Cheese?**

Tobi: Tobi likes Deidara and Deidara only! Tobi likes Deidara more than he hates pain! No, Tobi's not a cannibale!

Deidara: Cannibal, Tobi-un.

Tobi: Same difference!

**Okay, that's it for this chappie! Send questions, cuz the next chapter's it! (As in the last one)**


	10. Un and goodbye

Tobi, Deidara and Cookie-Chan were all in the main room of the Akatsuki lair. It was Cookie-Chan's final week, and the three had gotten close. They were also exhausted from the final surge of questions they had gotten before it was over.

"Hey, Cookie." Deidara said. "Are you gonna come see us again-un?"

"Prob'ly" She said, eating a brownie sent from **XxDeidaralovespiexX** . But no more questions. These people ask weird things."

"Cookie-Chan!" Tobi yelled, clutching his Deidara plushie he got from **Ryuchael****. "**Will you miss Tobi?"

"Yes, I'll miss you, Tobi. Hey, Deidara, how Itachi doin' will therapy?"

"He's gotten better. He only tried to strangle Tobi twice yesterday."

"That's nice."

* * *

**Alright, first up is ****artsfan **

**Parting is such sweet sorrow...Wah!!**

**Anyways...:**

**1) If you could live on any other planet then earth, what would it be?**

**2) How would you react if you turned purple for the day?**

**3) What music do you like best, rock or heavy metal?**

**4) Have you ever had a girlfriend or boyfriend?**

**5) Will you miss me when this story ends?**

**6) Do you know how to tap dance?**

**Thank you Deidara, Tobi, and Cookie-chan for writing this story! YAY!!  
Huggles all around!**

Tobi: Tobi would maybe live on Pluto.

Cookie-Chan: Actually, Tobi, Pluto's not a planet anymore. It's been demoted to "Dwarf planet" now. They also added two more dwarf planets.

Tobi: Oh…Tobi would think he was allergic to something. Tobi likes rock. No, but…-_looks at Deidara_-

Deidara: No, Tobi! You get o my nerves-un!

Tobi: Wahh! Yes, Tobi will miss you! No, Tobi can't dance. YAY, HUGGLES!

'Attaboy, Tobi! Next up is Ryuchael I am back from the dead Mwa ha ha ha ... ok, not realy Tobi. I am sending you a new chibi deidra plushie doll that everytime you hug  
it, it will say "tobi is a good boy" because you deserve it. Question to tobi. Why is your mask so swirly? When did the "tobi is a good boy" started? Do you Know the muffin man? What atracted you to deidara? Do you play DDR? If so Whats is your favorite DDR song? To deidara. What would you do if tobi had sharingan? (The same question is to Itachi, if  
possible.) And, BE NICE TO TOBI! or else. -gives deidara an uchiha glare- (patend  
pending XP) By the way that plushie is indestructible. 

Tobi: Thank you for the plushie! It's so huggable! Like Tobi said, he didn't get a choice. Tobi's not sure. Maybe science class in high school. No, but I like bananas. Deidara's hot, that's why!

Cookie-chan: Tobi, that was very unexpected.

Tobi: Tobi knows! Yes, and Tobi likes WAKA LAKA!

Deidara: Why ask me that-un? I don't know-un! DAMN YOU PLUSHIE!

**Deidara, let the plushie go. Next up: ****XxDeidaralovespiexX **

**Hi Tobi and Deidara!!I sent you care packages,did you guys receive it?Hola  
Tobi and do you like ramen noodles and a big pack of watermelon gum and cotton  
candy?The watermelon gum has everlasting taste!!Cookie-chan do you like  
brownies and icecream??Deidara please enjoy my smuggled--i mean fireworks that  
are NEVER related to smuggling in your whole life!Anyway,here are my  
questions:**

**1)Do you know any band called The Beatles or just Queen??If yes,TELL ME THE  
SONG YOU LIKE TO LISTEN TO!!**

**2)If you will create any kind of product,what would it be??**

**3)What would you do if you find out that Deidara-sempai is a  
hermaphrodite??(hermaphrodite:organism that has both genders: a plant or  
animal that has both male and female reproductive organs and secondary sexual  
characteristics)**

**4)Deidara here's one for you!!If Sasori-danna is still alive,what would think  
his reaction would be about Tobi's personality??Who's your hated  
member(exclude Tobi)**

**5)Tobi,if you would be stranded in an island what would you eat?**

6)Aside from Deidara-sempai,who other member/s do you like to spend time  
with??

**Oh yeah...I.LOVE.MINIVANS.oh yeah,Tobi,you're the best good boy  
EVER!Cookie-chan tell and spread the word about minivans.this is really  
urgent!! Deidara,I'M ONE OF YOUR FANGIRLS!**

Tobi: No, Tobi has little free time now. Tobi would make something animal related. Deidara's a he-she?

Deidara: DAMN IT-UN! I AM A BOY! DO YOU PEOPLE WANNA CHECK-UN?!

Cookie-Chan: Deidara, you're a boy. We get it. Let Tobi finish.

Tobi: Thank you: But it's Deidara's turn now.

Deidara: Oh…I'm not sure. I hate Tobi and only Tobi!

Tobi: Tobi would eat Kisame. He tastes like sushi, right? Maybe Itachi or Kakuzu.

Cookie-Chan:MINI-VANS!

Deidara: I have fangirls! Yeah-un!

Deidara, calm down, it's only one. Next up: KRISH-un 

KRISH-un send hugs to Cooie-chan, Tobi, and Deidara-senpai for writing this  
story. KRISH-un also believes that true art lasts for a moment, and thinks  
that what Tobi responded to her question was very beautiful.

**1) Can you sing? **

**2) Can your Senpai sing?**

**3) Would you ever write poems?**

**4) Do you approve of fuzzy things?**

**5) What's your favorite song? (This goes for all three of you)**

**6) What kind of waffle is the scariest for you?**

**7) Deidara-senpai, what are you afraid of?**

**8) Can either Tobi or Deidara-senpai swim?**

**9) What's your favorite holiday? (For all three of you again)**

**10) (EXTRA LONG LIST FOR THE LAST CHAPTER!) Would you rather be tall or  
short?**

**Deidara-senpai, KRISH-un has a couple of questions just for you:**

**1) Do you like Tobi back? (Only because KRISH-un thinks it would be adorable  
if you would)**

**2) What do you think of your fangirls?**

**3) Why do you say 'un'?**

**Thanks to all three of you for listening to KRISH-un's mostly annoying  
questions. KRISH-un loves you!**

Tobi: Tobi likes to sing! Deidara, can you sing?

Deidara: Does it look like I sing-un?!

Tobi: Tobi just wanted to know. Tobi never tried to write poetry, but Tobi likes fluffy things. Tobi's favorite song is WAKA LAKA from DDR

Cookie-Chan: I like "Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying (Do your best to save the secne and stop going to shows)" By Fall Out Boy.

Deidara: I like "Life is Beautiful"

Tobi: Tobi's scared of blueberry waffles! Deidara said he's scared of water. Neither of us can swim. Tobi likes Halloween!

Cookie-Chan: Christmas!

Deidara: Black Friday-un.

Tobi: Tobi likes being tall!

Deidara: NO! I- DO-NOT-LIKE-TOBI! My fangirls are very smart-un. I say un-un?

Cookie-Chan: Yes, you say un.

Deidara: Damn-un.

**Deidara, how did you not know that? Next is Mojo817 **

**Tobi;**

**does Deideiras hair smell like mintos?**

**Has Deideira made an attempted murder against you?**

**Are you scared of spiders?**

**did Saisori ever try to poisen Deideira?**

**Speaking of which... how did Deideira get here anyway?**

Tobi: No, it's strawberry. No, Tobi hopes not.

Deidara: -whistles-

Tobi: Tobi doesn't know, ask Cookie-Chan.

**I'm not sure why. Next up: myheartstillbleedsforyou **

**Hello Tobi! I would like to be your bestest friend cuz you rock!**

**K so here are my questions:**

**1. Would you go out wit my friend Arlette cuz she really likes you for who  
you are cuz you're TOBI! **

**2. Is it ok if I pretend to be you when I'm sad?**

**3. Will Itachi-kun go out wit me? Please?**

**4. Will you be my bestest friend? I'll let you see my secret backpack with  
drawings of you!**

**5. I request to kiss Kisame.**

Tobi: Tobi doesn't like girls like that, but Tobi will spend time with her. Umm…sure?

Deidara; As Itachi's therapist, I really don't think he should be in a relationship right now-un.

Tobi: Tobi'll be your best friend!

Deidara: No-un.

**He's a fish. Kisame, I mean. Next: Alucard's Vampiress **

**Hi, Tobi! Hi, Deidara-senpai! Hi, Cookie-chan! I'm ba-ack! **

**Oky-doky, Tobi! Only a couple more questions, then that'll be it, okay?  
Okay!**

**1) What is it about waffles that is so scary? Do you not like the shape, the  
texture... what? And do you like pancakes? Because sometimes I make waffles  
with pancake batter... Oo**

**2) If you were stuck in a giant paper bag, what would you do to get out? (And  
no ripping the bag, either!)**

**3) Have you ever been angry at Deidara-senpai? If so, why?**

**4) ...Can I have a hug? **

**Well, that's all of my questions! Thanks, Tobi!**

Tobi: Tobi remembers…Tobi was nine years old…

Deidara: No, Tobi-un! Don't go back to that story or you will get nightmares, AND YOU ARE NOT SLEEPING IN MY BED AGAIN-UN!

Tobi: Okay…Why would Tobi be stuck in a paper bag? No, Tobi loves Deidara! Yes, you may have a hug!

**Aw! Next: N.E.May **

**I wanna ask Tobi somethin'.**

**Ahem first of all...TOBI ROCKS! TOBI IS A GOOD BOY INDEED!**

**Anyway, does it count if the colour is DARK Pink? As in Magenta? Cause, you  
know, N.E.May luvs magenta. And is it ok if N.E.May talk in Third person, too.  
Cause N.E.May thinks the effect is hot.  
And I'm sorry but i think you'll have to fight with the diseased Sasori to  
get you Senpai**

Tobi: Dark pink is okay!

Cookie-Chan: I happen to think dark pink is very cool.

Tobi: Yes, you can speak in third person, too!

**Last forever and ever is:-

* * *

**

Cookie-Chan looked through the pile of mail. "Is that it?" She said. "I could've sworn-"

"Yeah-un. But Tobi wanted to make a paper chain for Christmas-un."

"Oh."

Suddenly, a horn honked outside.

"Is that your ride-un?" Deidara asked

"Yep." Cookie-Chan got up and walked to the door. "See ya guys later!"

And thus, Cookie-Chan walked out the door and toward her life.

**Okay, it's over. BUT…I might just do a story with the return of Cookie-Chan! But, no more questions!**


End file.
